Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Big Chop: A Navy Initiation

So, after a long hard road of contemplation, soul searching, repairing, weight loss, and processing, I’ve finally done it: I’ve DEPped into the Navy (on October 31, 3012, to be exact).  I’d wanted to join the military since I graduated, but I was convinced otherwise, got my A.A., and went to University the hard way.  I hardly made it through my first semester, when I got sent packing to my mom’s house, with a failed report card in hand and student loans in tow.  I was at a really, really low point in my life and that’s when I decided it was time to make a really big change in my life.  I tossed off all excuses and went into the recruiter’s office.  Five months later, I am now a Future Sailor and I get giddy every time I say it.  Probably giddier than I really should be.
Along with joining the Navy, I’ve also done some life-changing cosmetic alterations to myself.  I went and got a Big Chop (or BC for short).  During the transition between University and home, I went into a really deep depression (not clinically diagnosed, though) and stress, along with me taking lousy care of myself, caused my hair to break greatly.  The hair in the back was thinned, my hair needed bad trimming, plus a perm… It was just a hot mess!  While thinking about going into the Navy, I had also considered getting it cut and asked around to what others would think if I had my hair short.  A lot of people cringed and shook their heads, fearing it would make my already square face look masculine.  Some said that I would get so upset if it all went away at one (something about women’s femininity being tied to the hair or something).  Others encouraged it.  A friend tried an express keratin treatment on it, seeing if it would hide the damage to my hair while I made up my mind.  It did a pretty good job of it.  Yet, I eventually had to wash it out, and I started hating my hair all over again.  Finally, I just got so fed up with it!  I just wanted it GONE!  So, another friend shelled out the money for me and, during her lunch break, we went to go get it buzzed.  With a few passes of the razor and a spin in the barber’s chair, it was done and I LOVED IT!  We left a little length on top (kind of like a Willow Smith sort of thing) to soften up my face, but just seeing the rest of it on the floor filled me with such relief.
I found out I wasn’t as attached to my hair as I thought I’d be and it was so liberating. I finally didn’t have to fall slave to the “creamy crack” and fight against my curls.  No longer did I have to sit under the dryer with rollers in my hair for four hours (yeah, my hair’s hella thick) while being scolded by a stylist to take better care of my hair.  No longer did I have to spend hours in front of a mirror with a flat iron in hand, trying to stretch a relaxer.  No!  I was free!  I was finally free and the breeze on my scalp proved it.
Both incidents happened rather symbiotically.  I don’t see myself having done one without the other.  I don’t think I would have gone through the BC if I wasn’t so determined to get into the Navy.  I don’t think I would’ve went into the Navy with my hair in such poor shape.  They both have had great impacts on my life.  I’ve liberated myself enough to fully dedicate to bettering my life.  I feel in doing both, I have ventured on an exciting and rocky road to spiritually, emotionally, and physically (as well as financially, ha!) bettering myself.
This is my journey.  This is my story…

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