The clock is ticking down and my departure for RTC (boot camp) is but a few weeks away. I've managed to get my weight down and keep it under 160lbs with diet and intense exercise. The time draws near, and I will admit, I'm pretty nervous.
All that tough talk about the stress they'll put you under, the long hard days, the grueling PT, the possibilities of being held back for weeks at a time... it's enough worry to tie my stomach into knots. I've caught myself picking up that awful hair pulling habit that I'd been trying to get away from every time any of the subjects come up. Many is the person that tells me, "Oh, you'll do fine. Don't worry so much." And their words only quell my worries for maybe an hour or so. Sooner or later, the thoughts arise, and I feel as if I have lead stuck in the pit of my stomach. I suppose some of that is also excitement as well, but the mix of emotions sure unsettles my insides.
Yet, those words of encouragement I receive are never unheeded and never under appreciated. All efforts and kind words in pushing me through to that fateful day are words kept locked deep within me that I use as fuel to run a little farther or push a little harder. The sore spots I get on my body seem well worth it when I replay the words in my head, or the memorable scenes before my eyes. One scene in particular comes to mind as I write this entry:
It was raining rather heavy on a particular day that my best friend phoned me out of the house to go running with him along the beach. Mind you, it was raining at the time he called, but it began to pour the closer we got to the beach. I had a very rough few weeks, yet he refused to let me sit in the house and mope about it. Upon getting to the beach, it was raining so hard that all beach goers had vacated to go home, which is what I wanted to do in order to stay dry. Yet, he insisted that we go running, out of reach of the ocean, of course, yet right along the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
We ran and ran and worked out and ran and workout some more. In the rain... the pouring rain! Now, normally I would have been whining about getting my hair wet, had I hair to worry about getting wet. Yet, I didn't so it was a rather refreshing and almost rejuvenating experience. Just the thought of running in the rain as opposed to running from it reminded me of a song by Etro Anime, Summer Rain (love it). Before long, I was so good and worked, I didn't care that I was drenched and soggy. Toward the end of our session, we did push ups and sit ups by the shore, then took a breather.
We stood by the water and watched the waves crash among themselves, just talking and cooling down. I suddenly, felt this subtle warmth graze over my shoulders and back and I was slightly confused as to what it was. Yet, my friend verified it for me. "Oh, look," he said, "the sun's come out." I blinked and took a glance over my shoulder. Sure enough, the sun's rays were peeking out from a break in the clouds, scattering some of the ones that were still drizzling a bit.
Yet in that second, as brief as it was, I learned a few things in that moment. Some cliche, others a slight more profound. The thing that I remembered most was understanding just a little more what a friend really was. A friend will walk in the rain with you and share an umbrella. A good friend will give you their umbrella and maybe their galoshes Yet, only my best friend will drag me in the middle of the rain and thunder and work alongside me until the sun came out. It's only for the fact, that working alongside someone makes the load lighters and the rain just that much warms.
So, cheers to those kooky friends, well-wishers, and never-say-diers. I will treasure your words for they are very precious to me.
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