The clock is ticking down and my departure for RTC (boot camp) is but a few weeks away. I've managed to get my weight down and keep it under 160lbs with diet and intense exercise. The time draws near, and I will admit, I'm pretty nervous.
All that tough talk about the stress they'll put you under, the long hard days, the grueling PT, the possibilities of being held back for weeks at a time... it's enough worry to tie my stomach into knots. I've caught myself picking up that awful hair pulling habit that I'd been trying to get away from every time any of the subjects come up. Many is the person that tells me, "Oh, you'll do fine. Don't worry so much." And their words only quell my worries for maybe an hour or so. Sooner or later, the thoughts arise, and I feel as if I have lead stuck in the pit of my stomach. I suppose some of that is also excitement as well, but the mix of emotions sure unsettles my insides.
Yet, those words of encouragement I receive are never unheeded and never under appreciated. All efforts and kind words in pushing me through to that fateful day are words kept locked deep within me that I use as fuel to run a little farther or push a little harder. The sore spots I get on my body seem well worth it when I replay the words in my head, or the memorable scenes before my eyes. One scene in particular comes to mind as I write this entry:
It was raining rather heavy on a particular day that my best friend phoned me out of the house to go running with him along the beach. Mind you, it was raining at the time he called, but it began to pour the closer we got to the beach. I had a very rough few weeks, yet he refused to let me sit in the house and mope about it. Upon getting to the beach, it was raining so hard that all beach goers had vacated to go home, which is what I wanted to do in order to stay dry. Yet, he insisted that we go running, out of reach of the ocean, of course, yet right along the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
We ran and ran and worked out and ran and workout some more. In the rain... the pouring rain! Now, normally I would have been whining about getting my hair wet, had I hair to worry about getting wet. Yet, I didn't so it was a rather refreshing and almost rejuvenating experience. Just the thought of running in the rain as opposed to running from it reminded me of a song by Etro Anime, Summer Rain (love it). Before long, I was so good and worked, I didn't care that I was drenched and soggy. Toward the end of our session, we did push ups and sit ups by the shore, then took a breather.
We stood by the water and watched the waves crash among themselves, just talking and cooling down. I suddenly, felt this subtle warmth graze over my shoulders and back and I was slightly confused as to what it was. Yet, my friend verified it for me. "Oh, look," he said, "the sun's come out." I blinked and took a glance over my shoulder. Sure enough, the sun's rays were peeking out from a break in the clouds, scattering some of the ones that were still drizzling a bit.
Yet in that second, as brief as it was, I learned a few things in that moment. Some cliche, others a slight more profound. The thing that I remembered most was understanding just a little more what a friend really was. A friend will walk in the rain with you and share an umbrella. A good friend will give you their umbrella and maybe their galoshes Yet, only my best friend will drag me in the middle of the rain and thunder and work alongside me until the sun came out. It's only for the fact, that working alongside someone makes the load lighters and the rain just that much warms.
So, cheers to those kooky friends, well-wishers, and never-say-diers. I will treasure your words for they are very precious to me.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Down and Not Out
So… I did it! After the pressure, the threats, the pushing, the
workouts, and additional assistance from some very wonderful friends, I
managed to whittle down from the 160s to 157lbs. I can hardly sit
still as I type this up.
Sometime after my last entry, I got really discouraged. So much to the point I began getting scattered brain, losing things, and missing appointments. It was then I stopped worrying about my weight and just stopped nitpicking at my food intake. I had read how stress influenced the amount of cortisol in the body and made it even more difficult to lose weight. So I just stopped, and actually worked out less. There was a period I was doing long distance walking with a friend to keep myself moving, yet I stopped stressing. I kept trying to find things to do with myself that were entertaining, mainly going out with friends and just trying to relax. I had been out so often, my mother was beginning to get concern as to whether I had ran away. And, for sometime, I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that the Navy would not be in my future and that I would have to try to look into other things to do with my life.
It was like that until a few Wednesdays ago (we’ll say around the 6th of March). My LPO gave me a call and told me that he wanted to get an official taping for me at the station in Orlando. For those who don’t know, that’s an hour north from where I live, which is a minor convenience compared to an exhausting 3 hour trip to MEPS in Tallahassee. At that moment, I, literally, dropped everything I was doing at that moment and went with him to Orlando. When I was weighed, I was 161lbs. I sighed and grit my teeth as I was taped. My numbers turned out as follows*:
Neck: 12 inches
Waist: 32 inches
Hips: 39 inches ( my problem area)
Body Fat Percentage: 31%
Now, for those of you scratching your head wondering what all these numbers mean and whether or not they’re good, the most important number there is my Body Fat Percentage. The others simply are used, plugged into a fartsy smartsy algorithm, and pop out my BF%.
For the Navy, if one’s BF% is over 33%, then they are considered overweight. Mine is 31%, so yes, these numbers are very good, considering!
After being taped and given the numbers, I was told as long as I keep those numbers down, I should be good to ship out, and to avoid all the taping nonsense, I would need to be under my max weight. Which is understandable. I just have to continue to keep myself active (in an entertaining fashion) for the next month and a half.
I just want to take the time to thank those whose advice and help stirred my closer to my dream. I appreciate you very much, and I will work even harder to get my weight even lower. My end goal is 153lbs, that way I’ll have alot of space for water weight and other things.
Keep rooting for me!
-----
*I lost the original numbers, so these are general estimations. I'll fix them if I can get the original numbers from my LPO.
Sometime after my last entry, I got really discouraged. So much to the point I began getting scattered brain, losing things, and missing appointments. It was then I stopped worrying about my weight and just stopped nitpicking at my food intake. I had read how stress influenced the amount of cortisol in the body and made it even more difficult to lose weight. So I just stopped, and actually worked out less. There was a period I was doing long distance walking with a friend to keep myself moving, yet I stopped stressing. I kept trying to find things to do with myself that were entertaining, mainly going out with friends and just trying to relax. I had been out so often, my mother was beginning to get concern as to whether I had ran away. And, for sometime, I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that the Navy would not be in my future and that I would have to try to look into other things to do with my life.
It was like that until a few Wednesdays ago (we’ll say around the 6th of March). My LPO gave me a call and told me that he wanted to get an official taping for me at the station in Orlando. For those who don’t know, that’s an hour north from where I live, which is a minor convenience compared to an exhausting 3 hour trip to MEPS in Tallahassee. At that moment, I, literally, dropped everything I was doing at that moment and went with him to Orlando. When I was weighed, I was 161lbs. I sighed and grit my teeth as I was taped. My numbers turned out as follows*:
Neck: 12 inches
Waist: 32 inches
Hips: 39 inches ( my problem area)
Body Fat Percentage: 31%
Now, for those of you scratching your head wondering what all these numbers mean and whether or not they’re good, the most important number there is my Body Fat Percentage. The others simply are used, plugged into a fartsy smartsy algorithm, and pop out my BF%.
For the Navy, if one’s BF% is over 33%, then they are considered overweight. Mine is 31%, so yes, these numbers are very good, considering!
After being taped and given the numbers, I was told as long as I keep those numbers down, I should be good to ship out, and to avoid all the taping nonsense, I would need to be under my max weight. Which is understandable. I just have to continue to keep myself active (in an entertaining fashion) for the next month and a half.
I just want to take the time to thank those whose advice and help stirred my closer to my dream. I appreciate you very much, and I will work even harder to get my weight even lower. My end goal is 153lbs, that way I’ll have alot of space for water weight and other things.
Keep rooting for me!
-----
*I lost the original numbers, so these are general estimations. I'll fix them if I can get the original numbers from my LPO.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Well...
This will probably be the last post for this blog for a long time coming.
On Thursday, my LPO called me into his office. He said he spoke to his superior about my fluctuation in weight and his superior gave me the bottom line: If I don't get under 160lbs by the first of February, then out of DEP I go. I was given this information on January 24th. So, that's another week they're expecting me to purge and not just get to my max weight, but under it, by at least five pounds.
Honestly, if they don't want me in the Navy, I honestly wish they'd just say so. I know, I know. Don't take it personally, you're probably saying. They just want physically fit individuals who won't slow the entire team down. They're just looking at numbers. Or whatever. Please, just save the jive, because I'm just done with wasting my time with people.
Physically fit, they want?: I went from only being able to run a wheezing and sweaty five minutes to an almost breezy 11:46 minutes; continuously. I've gone from barely pumping out 3 push ups to going a decent ten; no it's not a lot, but it's a hell of a lot more than the teeny boppers that go through that office. My curl-ups are from 15 to 30 if I push myself. No, I'm not a SEAL, but damnit what else can you really expect from a new recruit? I'm not exactly a two ton anchor. So, excuse me if I do take it remotely personally when I'm just a few digits to someone.
So, this is another dream down... I suppose I should start another blog when I find another dream I want to chase, I suppose.
On Thursday, my LPO called me into his office. He said he spoke to his superior about my fluctuation in weight and his superior gave me the bottom line: If I don't get under 160lbs by the first of February, then out of DEP I go. I was given this information on January 24th. So, that's another week they're expecting me to purge and not just get to my max weight, but under it, by at least five pounds.
Honestly, if they don't want me in the Navy, I honestly wish they'd just say so. I know, I know. Don't take it personally, you're probably saying. They just want physically fit individuals who won't slow the entire team down. They're just looking at numbers. Or whatever. Please, just save the jive, because I'm just done with wasting my time with people.
Physically fit, they want?: I went from only being able to run a wheezing and sweaty five minutes to an almost breezy 11:46 minutes; continuously. I've gone from barely pumping out 3 push ups to going a decent ten; no it's not a lot, but it's a hell of a lot more than the teeny boppers that go through that office. My curl-ups are from 15 to 30 if I push myself. No, I'm not a SEAL, but damnit what else can you really expect from a new recruit? I'm not exactly a two ton anchor. So, excuse me if I do take it remotely personally when I'm just a few digits to someone.
So, this is another dream down... I suppose I should start another blog when I find another dream I want to chase, I suppose.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Crisis Alert: Return to Stations
First off, I have no idea if the title is an actual military term, so just bear with me.
A few weeks ago, there was a DEP meeting and weights were taken. I stepped on: I was a whopping 171lbs. It was the most disheartening thing in the world for me at the time. A day or so later, my LPO called me to let me know he was putting me on mandatory PT, which consists of me waking up and catching the bus at 8 am to arrive at the office at 9am and run around in the field outside for 45 minutes, everyday, four days out of the week. Not going to lie, it’s pretty annoying.
Yet, two weeks have gone by, and I will admit that the running has helped some. I’ve gone from 171lbs to 162-163lbs and have clocked myself going 13 minutes running continuously. So, I’m actually not in a complaining mood as I write this. Plus, everyone in the office sees me everyday, so I don’t have to worry about calling in on Mondays, which I almost always for get to do. So, yes, the waking up early in the morning to ride with stinky people is a bit of an inconvenience, it will show that I am trying and it is helping.
Hopefully, I can get under 160lbs by April, which is the deadline they’re giving me before they officially toss me out. Surprisingly, I’m not really worried. Knowing I did my best and I’m improving each day kind of feels like it’s enough for me.
Once my week starts back up again, I’m gonna see if I meet any of my fitness requirements or PRT (I believe it’s called). I’ll keep you all posted.
A few weeks ago, there was a DEP meeting and weights were taken. I stepped on: I was a whopping 171lbs. It was the most disheartening thing in the world for me at the time. A day or so later, my LPO called me to let me know he was putting me on mandatory PT, which consists of me waking up and catching the bus at 8 am to arrive at the office at 9am and run around in the field outside for 45 minutes, everyday, four days out of the week. Not going to lie, it’s pretty annoying.
Yet, two weeks have gone by, and I will admit that the running has helped some. I’ve gone from 171lbs to 162-163lbs and have clocked myself going 13 minutes running continuously. So, I’m actually not in a complaining mood as I write this. Plus, everyone in the office sees me everyday, so I don’t have to worry about calling in on Mondays, which I almost always for get to do. So, yes, the waking up early in the morning to ride with stinky people is a bit of an inconvenience, it will show that I am trying and it is helping.
Hopefully, I can get under 160lbs by April, which is the deadline they’re giving me before they officially toss me out. Surprisingly, I’m not really worried. Knowing I did my best and I’m improving each day kind of feels like it’s enough for me.
Once my week starts back up again, I’m gonna see if I meet any of my fitness requirements or PRT (I believe it’s called). I’ll keep you all posted.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Happy New Year 2013: Updates and a History Lesson
It's a new year and a new beginning for most. I hope everyone's
holidays were bright and all things exceeded expectations. I, for one,
am glad for the New Year because it gives a chance for reflection and
cleansing. It's a time where we can reflect on things that went well
the year before and the things that didn't. It's also a time where we
choose to change or reaffirm ourselves and the things we deem
acceptable. It's a new beginning and I love new beginnings.
I'm writing from my aunt's laptop instead of my own computer. It's a bit unsettling since I know any and all things that I do on this computer will be scrutinized if I don't take care to log out and erase any history I've logged on it. Yes, it it that serious. You maybe wondering why I would purposely subject myself to such strict surveillance at 25 years of age. Simple: it's tradition. Now, I'm not talking of the West Indian tradition of parents treating their children like 12 year olds until they've acquired lodgings and occupations of their own. I'm referring, rather, to the Haitian tradition of New Year gathering and Joumou: squash soup.
The way my mother explained it to me was that the eating of squash soup on the first of the year if the celebration of Haiti's independence. You see, during the time of French occupation and slavery on the island, slaves were not allowed to partake in squash. Of all things, if they were caught eating the gourd, then they would be hanged, no exceptions. So, once they gained their independence, Haitians, as a spit in the face of their former captors, gorged on all the squash, pumpkin, and other kinds of gourd they could get their hands on, boiling them down to hearty soups with various trimmings.
Each year, many families visit one another and trade their homemade soups and spend time in one another's presence. Friends stop buy to trade as well and children may receive monetary gifts according to their ages. For example, I was spending the January 1st with my mother, aunt, and a handful of my cousins and they lined us up from youngest to oldest. My brother, who was around six at the time received $6 along with a cousin of the same age. I was ten at the time, so naturally I got $10 and so on. It's an interesting tradition, and I look forward to it every year, only for the sake of having had something constant to celebrate as opposed to Christmas or Valentine's Day whose celebration is usually subject to fund availability or access to a significant other.
Now, on a totally different note, a month or so ago, I started using a natural remedy for ridding my face of dark spots that included apple cider vinegar and fresh squeezed lime juice. I've used it everyday, faithfully, before cleansing or exfoliating, leaving it on my face for 15 minutes. The concoction is a dynamite astringent and skin lightener. It dramatically lightened my face at least two shades lighter, dark spots and all (wasn't really going for that thorough a job). Yet, while it lightened the spots, it did not get rid of them. I am happy they are less noticeable, but I'm looking to get rid of them. My mother suggested that I go back to using the regular Noxema cold cream, remembering how clear my face looked when I had been using it back in middle and high school. I'm at that point in this endeavor to where I'm willing to swallow my pride this time and listen to her; both to see if it would give any sort of an improvement and to see her face when I tell her it really hasn't helped any. I know, it's really passive aggressive, but either way, I win, right?
As for my weight, it's still fluctuating like crazy, yet I notice there is a change in my physical appearance. My body looks a lot slimmer and toned. I'm not as hungry most days (unless I'm upset) and I do have more energy. Yet, the scale remains around 164-165lbs. I'm beginning to think it's muscle at this point, because I don't know what else they want me to do at this point. I do three types of cardio a day, sweets are practically non-existent, I lift a little bit of weights to tone everything out, I even take a shot of apple cider vinegar with an H2O chaser in the morning because of the fat burning benefits I've heard it to possess. Yet, my numbers will go no lower.
Now, this situation as me a little worried, but not too much so. I know I've lost a great deal of fat due to the changes in my appearance and the way my clothes fit. Yet, in order to prove that I don't possess as much fat as they feel I do (the cut off for body fat percentage is 33%; I estimated mine to be around 27%), the guys at DEP need to measure me. Which is where my problem lies: everyone in the Navy recruiting office is male and they're not allowed to take my measurements since I am female. Whenever I am there, they never seem to have a female in the other offices to help out. So, while it looks as if I may be screwed come the next DEP meeting, I feel eerily calm. I know the hard work I put into losing this weight, but apparently, because everyone at the office is disorganized and lazy, I'm going to lose my contract; not because I didn't try. I won't worry, though, as frustrating a thought it will be. There are already other opportunities opening themselves up to me in the case this does not come to pass.
It is the first of the year and there are many things that I want to do differently, yet I refused to make a definite resolution. No, its not because I'm afraid of commitment. Yet, aside from the thought of New Year's resolutions being cliche, I feel that every sunrise is an opportunity to start over and to have the New Year as a set starting point puts on the pressure for success; and not in a good way. Though, I will say that I will try to continue on this path of self-improvement I've started on, body, mind, and soul.
I'm writing from my aunt's laptop instead of my own computer. It's a bit unsettling since I know any and all things that I do on this computer will be scrutinized if I don't take care to log out and erase any history I've logged on it. Yes, it it that serious. You maybe wondering why I would purposely subject myself to such strict surveillance at 25 years of age. Simple: it's tradition. Now, I'm not talking of the West Indian tradition of parents treating their children like 12 year olds until they've acquired lodgings and occupations of their own. I'm referring, rather, to the Haitian tradition of New Year gathering and Joumou: squash soup.
The way my mother explained it to me was that the eating of squash soup on the first of the year if the celebration of Haiti's independence. You see, during the time of French occupation and slavery on the island, slaves were not allowed to partake in squash. Of all things, if they were caught eating the gourd, then they would be hanged, no exceptions. So, once they gained their independence, Haitians, as a spit in the face of their former captors, gorged on all the squash, pumpkin, and other kinds of gourd they could get their hands on, boiling them down to hearty soups with various trimmings.
Each year, many families visit one another and trade their homemade soups and spend time in one another's presence. Friends stop buy to trade as well and children may receive monetary gifts according to their ages. For example, I was spending the January 1st with my mother, aunt, and a handful of my cousins and they lined us up from youngest to oldest. My brother, who was around six at the time received $6 along with a cousin of the same age. I was ten at the time, so naturally I got $10 and so on. It's an interesting tradition, and I look forward to it every year, only for the sake of having had something constant to celebrate as opposed to Christmas or Valentine's Day whose celebration is usually subject to fund availability or access to a significant other.
Now, on a totally different note, a month or so ago, I started using a natural remedy for ridding my face of dark spots that included apple cider vinegar and fresh squeezed lime juice. I've used it everyday, faithfully, before cleansing or exfoliating, leaving it on my face for 15 minutes. The concoction is a dynamite astringent and skin lightener. It dramatically lightened my face at least two shades lighter, dark spots and all (wasn't really going for that thorough a job). Yet, while it lightened the spots, it did not get rid of them. I am happy they are less noticeable, but I'm looking to get rid of them. My mother suggested that I go back to using the regular Noxema cold cream, remembering how clear my face looked when I had been using it back in middle and high school. I'm at that point in this endeavor to where I'm willing to swallow my pride this time and listen to her; both to see if it would give any sort of an improvement and to see her face when I tell her it really hasn't helped any. I know, it's really passive aggressive, but either way, I win, right?
As for my weight, it's still fluctuating like crazy, yet I notice there is a change in my physical appearance. My body looks a lot slimmer and toned. I'm not as hungry most days (unless I'm upset) and I do have more energy. Yet, the scale remains around 164-165lbs. I'm beginning to think it's muscle at this point, because I don't know what else they want me to do at this point. I do three types of cardio a day, sweets are practically non-existent, I lift a little bit of weights to tone everything out, I even take a shot of apple cider vinegar with an H2O chaser in the morning because of the fat burning benefits I've heard it to possess. Yet, my numbers will go no lower.
Now, this situation as me a little worried, but not too much so. I know I've lost a great deal of fat due to the changes in my appearance and the way my clothes fit. Yet, in order to prove that I don't possess as much fat as they feel I do (the cut off for body fat percentage is 33%; I estimated mine to be around 27%), the guys at DEP need to measure me. Which is where my problem lies: everyone in the Navy recruiting office is male and they're not allowed to take my measurements since I am female. Whenever I am there, they never seem to have a female in the other offices to help out. So, while it looks as if I may be screwed come the next DEP meeting, I feel eerily calm. I know the hard work I put into losing this weight, but apparently, because everyone at the office is disorganized and lazy, I'm going to lose my contract; not because I didn't try. I won't worry, though, as frustrating a thought it will be. There are already other opportunities opening themselves up to me in the case this does not come to pass.
It is the first of the year and there are many things that I want to do differently, yet I refused to make a definite resolution. No, its not because I'm afraid of commitment. Yet, aside from the thought of New Year's resolutions being cliche, I feel that every sunrise is an opportunity to start over and to have the New Year as a set starting point puts on the pressure for success; and not in a good way. Though, I will say that I will try to continue on this path of self-improvement I've started on, body, mind, and soul.
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